THE PILOT POST

WELCOME TO MY SUICIDE NOTE.

Ha Ha

Just kidding. This isn't 13 reasons why. 

This is real life. And whatever you watch on Netflix, I tell you dear reader, is NOT real life🙅. I know this for certain because no matter how many Noah Centineo movies I watch, I'll never run into him on any beach here in Lagos, like they run into celebrities in his movie "SPF 18".

So I'll change up my introduction to:

WELCOME TO REAL LIFE. 

Because every confusingly controversial idea I'm about to put out to you about religion, food, music, love, art, literature, culture, psychology, money, dreams, aspirations and humans is real life.

My real life. Which I hope you can relate to on one level or the other.

So here's real life for you.

All my life, I've tried to keep journals. Pretty little notebooks that I'd swear to make into amazing documentations of experiences and emotions I would undergo, capturing moments with words that  would make them feel even better or much worse, as the case may be, than the real ones themselves (don't mind me, I like to make myself feel like God could've chosen me to write the bible😇).
Diary-keeping was a task I'd challenge myself to accomplish without fail.
But then Achebe says in No Longer At Ease:

A man does not challenge his Chi to a wrestling match.

So after challenging myself to do something I wasn't entirely hardwired for, well you can guess between me and my "chi", who won that challenge.
Bottomline, I've always failed at keeping journals.
Soliciting the question, why?

I could say I was too lazy to pick up my pen. But most of us, point of contact being me, who claim to like life at an easy pace know the reality of what we're capable of when we put our minds to it.
My life wasn't too boring for the books because I knew two things: One- Boredom is solely a state of the mind. There's always things to do if only you're willing to step out of your comfort zone; Two- My life has never been boring; by his grace, I've lived an amazing 17 years, even when I was just watching good ol' TV or my mother (I love her really💕) or one of the Reverend Sisters from the "covent" I schooled at for 6 years was on my case again.
So what was really the problem?

Psychologists would say, "To find yourself, you must create yourself."
But here's a thought-
Genesis 1:1

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; an darkness was upon the face of the earth.

God is the supreme creator (and the most awe-inspiring at that) and as clearly stated in the very first statement of the bible, he's done all the creation we'll ever need.
Frankly speaking, you might think that his creations ended with man, but food for thought: I believe that God created every single cellphone, designed every single piece of fashion in vogue, built every single house we live and work in today and invented every ounce of technology that betters our lives today.
How?
Simply, because he created us. He had everything planned out, every little detail, and he fashioned the human mind, generation by generation, implanting the ideas of everything we call civilisation today into our minds so that through our physical hands, we could bring his supernatural inventions to life, just like he did for us.

God is the ultimate, but we do share in his ability to create because he has created us and already created the things that we will create as our own creations.
Confusing, yeah?😵
Well welcome to my blog. There's going to be a lot more confusion along the way, but all of it is going to be the truth and nothing but.

Underlying moral lesson below the confusion: God is very generous with his numerous creations and has given each and every one of us a bounty of them alongside the freewill to patent them as our own. That is why people usually pray to God, "You, Lord, are who I am and are" (bad English, ikr. But God is a God of all languages😏), because everything that we are can be accurately summed up in just two words: God's creation.

Therefore, here goes my conclusion. I failed at keeping journals because the way I was doing it then was all wrong. Everyone around me was keeping journals too in which they would write about who fought who, which teacher dressed like "Rihanna goes to school", what music was the hottest at the moment, who they wanted to marry, and who they wanted to send their village witches after (I'm a professional busybody, don't judge😂). In other words, I was trying to imitate other creations (people) instead of being the creation who I was already created to be.

Boom!💥 Another round of confusion. Keep up reader.

I am already a unique creation. Trying to copy someone else who I'm not is similar to challenging my "chi". And that's a lost battle even before it's fought.
Our gifts are God's creations (that is why adult Christians will always encourage you to glorify God with them). The fact that God has blessed us with these gifts means that we all have so much potential energy just in store within, waiting to be turned into a force to reckon with.
Imagine trying to turn one fire into another fire. That's a Book Haram attack just waiting to happen. But if you let your own fire burn bright the way it's meant to, you could probably save Nigeria from  its Power Hiding, sorry, I meant Power Holding Company and light up the entire country; metaphorically though.
P.S. Don't read this and burn Nigeria down, I beg you. It still has its resting potential to be a greater country.
P.P.S I'm not saying that copying is bad, no matter what any haters might think. From experience, copying something that you admire and that you are certain is good (note those two words) might just be the first step to self-discovery. Truth be told, you can't say whether the soup is sweet or not until you taste it.

However, if you attempt something and realise that it's not for you, forcing yourself into it is another Book Haram attack waiting to happen. It'll eventually blow up in your face.
That's life people. A famous person once said, "You've got to find what you're good at and stick to it."
I'm good at writing. Putting words together into strings of messages that I want to send to people to make them feel what I feel, see what I see, picture what I imagine and understand me (that last sentence is a typical example).
The fact is I'm one writer out of the billions that exist in the world, each with their own unique style.
One writer's style might be similar to another's, but never the same; the same way spaghetti and noodles are similar but never the same.
Like I said copying isn't bad, neither is it a crime, because by imitating others, I came to realise that I am not the same.

I am different.
I am me.
You are different.
You are you.
The only thing we really have in common is that we are all created by God.
Yet we are all unique, individual creations.
That is the true essence of life- to find out who you really are, and live as just that person.

So welcome, also to my journey of self-discovery as a young Christian, writer. A journey I hope to take you along with in the hopes that I can also help you discover yourself.

My name is Itoro and I'm a writer✍ (budding one, really). And another thing about me- I'm hungry. For food (naturally). For love. For life. For music, the literal language of love. For riches and enrichment. For fashion. For literature. For the world as a better place, starting with my country, Nigeria. For knowledge and understanding. For friendship. For family. For peace.
But first and foremost, for the ability to always put God first.
Comment what you're hungry for at this exact moment- my hunger right now though is for a a super-sized chicken shawarma with an extra sausage and extra sauce😋.

All humans are hungry, but it all just depends on what you channel your hunger into.
I'm hungry for change and growth for myself and everyone else who reads this. What better way to start than a new blog?😸

P.S. This is really a suicide note because I certainly killed it💆.

xoxo

The wrItor✨